Starting with Satan Burger in 2001, author Carlton Mellick III has since become one of the most prolific authors of his generation. His average release schedule is four books per year, with a maximum of six releases in a single year. He has now reached 40 books in print at the age of 35. If he keeps up this pace he’ll break 100 books by the time he turns 50.
“If I thought there was a market for it I could easily write 10+ books per year instead of just 4,” says Carlton. “I am a full-time writer and I write at least 500 words per hour. If I actually worked like a person with a full-time day job, writing 8 hours a day 5 days a week, that would be an output of 80,000 words per month and 960,000 words per year. Since my average word length for a book is 40,000 words, I am theoretically capable of writing 24 books in a year. But that would be a hell of a lot of books!”
Whenever he’s asked if he feels like the quality of his work suffers from having such a large output, he always has the same response.
“Actually, it’s the complete opposite. The more I focus on quantity, the more the quality improves. If I ever write three books back to back in a three month period, the second book will always be better than the first and the third book will always be the best of the three. What does affect quality is stagnation. Never take too much time off between books. Trying to get back into writing after a long break is like trying to get back into shape after a two year fast food binge. It’s not a pretty sight.”
For his 40th book, Carlton chose to write a book about killer mermaids.
“I didn’t know it was going to be my 40th book when I wrote it, I just wanted to write a book about mermaids,” says Carlton. “Yeah, that’s right, I wrote a mermaid book. I wrote it because I think mermaids are awesome. I also think fairies and unicorns are awesome. You got a problem with that?”
Village of the Mermaids is now available at amazon.com
MERMAID [mur-meyd] noun — a rare species of fish evolved to resemble the appearance of a woman in order to attract male human prey.
Mermaids are protected by the government under the Endangered Species Act, which means you aren’t able to kill them even in self-defense. This is especially problematic if you happen to live in the isolated fishing village of Siren Cove, where there exists a healthy population of mermaids in the surrounding waters that view you as the main source of protein in their diet.
The only thing keeping these ravenous sea women at bay is the equally-dangerous supply of human livestock known as Food People. Normally, these “feeder humans” are enough to keep the mermaid population happy and well-fed. But in Siren Cove, the mermaids are avoiding the human livestock and have returned to hunting the frightened local fishermen. It is up to Doctor Black, an eccentric representative of the Food People Corporation, to investigate the matter and hopefully find a way to correct the mermaids’ new eating patterns before the remaining villagers end up as fish food. But the more he digs, the more he discovers there are far stranger and more dangerous things than mermaids hidden in this ancient village by the sea.
Like a Lovecraftian version of David Lynch’s Twin Peaks, Village of the Mermaids is a dystopian mystery that proves once again how cult author Carlton Mellick III brings the weird to a whole new level.
AVAILABLE AT WWW.AMAZON.COM
Preliminary voting has ended and the final ballot has been decided.
Here is the list of nominations for this year’s Wonderland Book Awards:
“A Town Called Suckhole” by David W. Barbee
“Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You” by Bradley Sands
“Beyond the Valley of the Apocalypse Donkeys” by Jordan Krall
“I Knocked Up Satan’s Daughter” by Carlton Mellick III
“Haunt” by Laura Lee Bahr
“Clockwork Girl” by Athena Villaverde
“Abortion Arcade” by Cameron Pierce
“We Live Inside You” by Jeremy Robert Johnson
“Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective” by Garrett Cook
“Baby’s First Book of Seriously Fucked-Up Shit” by Robert Devereaux
Voting ends October 31st. Only BizarroCon attendees are eligible to vote. Send your votes (one per category) to email@example.com
We’d like to give honorable mentions to those titles that came close to placing in the final ballot. These titles include: “Island of the Super People” by Kevin Shamel, “The Tumours Made Me Interesting” by Matthew Revert, “Fuckness” by Andersen Prunty and “Gigantic Death Worm” by Vince Kramer in the best novel category, and “The Driver’s Guide to Hitting Pedestrians” by Andersen Prunty, “The Traveling Dildo Salesman” by Kevin L. Donihe, “Hooray for Death” by Mykle Hansen, and “Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face: A Novel” by Bradley Sands in the best collection category.
Bizarro novel Broken Piano for President by Patrick Wensink (Lazy Fascist Press) exploded in the media early Sunday when news broke of the incredibly kind and generous cease-and-desist letter Jack Daniel’s issued over Broken Piano’s cover. It became the #1 bestselling satire at Amazon (beating out the works of Kurt Vonnegut and Catch-22) and the 6th bestseller overall. This is the highest sales rank a bizarro book has ever achieved. Let’s all raise a glass of Jack Daniel’s and give Patrick Wensink (and the great people at JD) one hell of a toast.
Here is just some of the coverage the book has received so far:
Yahoo’s Trending Now (video)